Eli's Personal Ad:
--- Single white male seeking single female---
--- Single white male seeking single female---
About Me: I am a 5-1/2 month old young man with lots of energy and a great sense of humor.
I pretty much spend my afternoons body-building. I've learned to roll over, oh yeah girls you heard that right, and that's not all! I do push ups sometimes. Yep, push ups! You ought to see my my forearms. They're like, well, strong enough to hold up my torso for a few seconds. Heh, don't try that at home, believe me. It takes an expert.
I'm a really good house-guest. I keep my diaper explosions contained...for the most part. I mean, sometimes I let one or two spring a leak here and there just to make sure my mom is operating at peek efficiency. I consider that my job. Don't want her to get lazy on me.
I would say that one of my greatest strengths has definitely got to be that I know how to get a woman's attention. I mean, when it comes to that...ladies...you happen to be talkin' to a pro! My mom can hardly keep her eyes off of me. Everywhere I go people are oohing and ahhing all over me. I'm practically like ---- a movie star. Brad Pitt, move on over because here comes Eli Douglas Albert Jenks. I, well, I pretty much have women beating my door down. But hey, don't let that keep you from contacting me. I am holding out for the right one. I figure that, you know, I need to make my rounds, experience the life of waking up in a different woman's arms at every afternoon snooze, you know...gotta get a sense of what's right for me.
Bad Habits: Well, to be honest, I sorta hate the smell of a clean shirt. If you have a clean shirt, I'll most likely urp all over it. Sorry.
What I look like: Two words for you, baby..."good"...."lookin"! Heh. I let my pictures speak for themselves:
I pretty much spend my afternoons body-building. I've learned to roll over, oh yeah girls you heard that right, and that's not all! I do push ups sometimes. Yep, push ups! You ought to see my my forearms. They're like, well, strong enough to hold up my torso for a few seconds. Heh, don't try that at home, believe me. It takes an expert.
I'm a really good house-guest. I keep my diaper explosions contained...for the most part. I mean, sometimes I let one or two spring a leak here and there just to make sure my mom is operating at peek efficiency. I consider that my job. Don't want her to get lazy on me.
I would say that one of my greatest strengths has definitely got to be that I know how to get a woman's attention. I mean, when it comes to that...ladies...you happen to be talkin' to a pro! My mom can hardly keep her eyes off of me. Everywhere I go people are oohing and ahhing all over me. I'm practically like ---- a movie star. Brad Pitt, move on over because here comes Eli Douglas Albert Jenks. I, well, I pretty much have women beating my door down. But hey, don't let that keep you from contacting me. I am holding out for the right one. I figure that, you know, I need to make my rounds, experience the life of waking up in a different woman's arms at every afternoon snooze, you know...gotta get a sense of what's right for me.
Bad Habits: Well, to be honest, I sorta hate the smell of a clean shirt. If you have a clean shirt, I'll most likely urp all over it. Sorry.
What I look like: Two words for you, baby..."good"...."lookin"! Heh. I let my pictures speak for themselves:
Like, check out the profile! That's a quality double chin.
Hello, not every guy has one of those.
Hello, not every guy has one of those.
I work out a lot....obviously!
So, ladies, if you wanna have a little piece of this...shoot me an email and maybe we'll grab a bottle of milk together or something. You never know when true love will strike ya. I say you gotta be ready. I just hope I am not too hot for you to handle. Peace out, girls!
2 comments:
Eli, you are obviously gonna be a lady killer eventually. Let your momma have you all to herself for just a little while longer :)
Woohoo, yeah for an update from my favorite Jenks family! I miss you guys. Hope to see you tonight at Ultimate!??!!!
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