Sorry it has been a while since we posted. Christmas season is crazy as always, and it was made especially crazy by the fact that I was wrapping up my 9 years with Ellen Fichen Design. I'm now officially unemployed...and self-employed (I'll continue to work my design business). Eli is due in 4 weeks and I figured it was best to end my time with Ellen at the end of the year. So last Friday was my last day. And I'll tell you, it was a strange, strange day.
I don't know how you just leave a job that you have been working (very happily) for 1/3 of your life. It isn't like I'm off to another, more exciting career or that I'm leaving disgruntled. I left because this alien creature inside me is going to come out soon and, although I have no idea what is in store for me once it comes out, all I know is that suddenly I turn into a mom! Holy cow. I have no idea how to be a mom. I don't know how to give birth! I don't know how to nurse! All I know how to do is what I've been doing for 9 years. I just walked away from the "known" into the "unknown".
Of course I'm very happy about all this...............I think.............I mean, of course I am but I'm also a bit on the nervous side of things. I'm more nervous about the next 4 weeks than anything else. I'm totally excited to meet Eli. I'm totally excited to be a mom, even though I don't know how. But I have to admit that I'm not totally excited to sit around my house for 4 weeks twiddling my thumbs and waiting. You see, my life is fast paced. It goes and goes and never stops. I'm never at home, I only have time to check my voicemail once-a-week (working on that, btw), I eat dinner at 9pm, I've lost almost all my hobbies over the years because I simply don't have time........and now, for four weeks, time is on my side and I have no idea what to do with it!
I suppose most people would be jumping for joy to be in this position, so I keep asking myself "why are you so unnerved about actually having time on your side?" and I realized just this weekend why....
I'm in my third trimester, I'm tired, I'm round and move awkwardly, I can hardly breathe because this little baby is spooning with my lungs, etc....all this is a recipe for becoming a lethargic lazy bum. That is the last thing in the world that I could want to be.
So there is my challenge to myself: Take 4 weeks to rest up before the baby comes, but don't turn into a lazy bum. Not a CLUE how to pull that one off...but here I go...
The "too much time - not enough energy" rocket has launched....
I don't know how you just leave a job that you have been working (very happily) for 1/3 of your life. It isn't like I'm off to another, more exciting career or that I'm leaving disgruntled. I left because this alien creature inside me is going to come out soon and, although I have no idea what is in store for me once it comes out, all I know is that suddenly I turn into a mom! Holy cow. I have no idea how to be a mom. I don't know how to give birth! I don't know how to nurse! All I know how to do is what I've been doing for 9 years. I just walked away from the "known" into the "unknown".
Of course I'm very happy about all this...............I think.............I mean, of course I am but I'm also a bit on the nervous side of things. I'm more nervous about the next 4 weeks than anything else. I'm totally excited to meet Eli. I'm totally excited to be a mom, even though I don't know how. But I have to admit that I'm not totally excited to sit around my house for 4 weeks twiddling my thumbs and waiting. You see, my life is fast paced. It goes and goes and never stops. I'm never at home, I only have time to check my voicemail once-a-week (working on that, btw), I eat dinner at 9pm, I've lost almost all my hobbies over the years because I simply don't have time........and now, for four weeks, time is on my side and I have no idea what to do with it!
I suppose most people would be jumping for joy to be in this position, so I keep asking myself "why are you so unnerved about actually having time on your side?" and I realized just this weekend why....
I'm in my third trimester, I'm tired, I'm round and move awkwardly, I can hardly breathe because this little baby is spooning with my lungs, etc....all this is a recipe for becoming a lethargic lazy bum. That is the last thing in the world that I could want to be.
So there is my challenge to myself: Take 4 weeks to rest up before the baby comes, but don't turn into a lazy bum. Not a CLUE how to pull that one off...but here I go...
The "too much time - not enough energy" rocket has launched....
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