Is there a Santa Claus? - a physicist view

Consider the following:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas

New Report from Celent

It is amazing to me that with all the information we have at our finger tips, how LITTLE knowledge we have. I saw this report from Celent on an industry press release and it is shows how crazy things have become. It seems the media reports what ever they want to / need to to suit their story - with little concern for the facts. Check this out:


This goes to show - we do not have a credit crisis in the US. We have a government crisis. Another quote from the article:

In many cases, it appears that these policymakers’ assumptions regarding the credit crisis are incorrect. Far from seeing a tightening of credit, a number of measures show that credit has expanded, and Celent finds that the lending markets are in surprisingly good health. Data published (in most cases by the Federal Reserve itself) show that:

• Overall lending by US banks is at a record high and has increased during the credit crisis.
• Interbank lending is at record highs and has increased during the credit crisis.
• Consumer credit is at record highs and has increased during the credit crisis.
• Commercial paper markets are operating within their historical norms.
• Lending by banks to businesses is at record highs and has been growing rapidly.
• Municipal bond markets are operating within their historical norms.
• Deposits at banks have shown a substantial increase since the start of the credit crisis.

“It appears that policymakers are making a variety of mistakes regarding the current financial crisis. If that is the case, the policy tools that they are employing may very well be the wrong ones,” Octavio Marenzi, head of Celent and author of the report.

I think it time that we aggressively start to share the bad news. We need a revolution again.

E

Common Sense not so common

"What is outrageous economically and is outrageous morally is that normally in times like this, people who are competent and who saw it coming and who kept their powder dry go and take over the assets from the incompetent," he said. "What's happening this time is that the government is taking the assets from the competent people and giving them to the incompetent people and saying, now you can compete with the competent people. It is horrible economics."

Just say no to bail outs. Contact your representatives and tell them to vote against another bailout. Remember you legislators that voted for the them and voted against them next time around. Lets end the madness...

Christmas Tree

Here are some photos from our u-cut Christmas Tree shopping experience. We found a farm here in Vancouver that has tons and tons of Nobles (my favorite - and always harder to find) so we've gone there the last few years.

Eric and Brendan (Eric's brother who is living with us for a while) with our selection.

If only Eli had a Starbucks, it would be a perfect picture. :)

Eli sees a decorated Christmas Tree for the 1st time.
He was kinda nervous about it...which is nice because he has pretty much ignored it since.

But daddy makes every thing all better!

Borrowed Toys...

Recently my friend, Leslie, loaned us a few toys appropriate for Eli's age. Oh my gosh...he loves them. And they couldn't have come at a better time because I have been holding off on any new toys until Christmas. Thank you Leslie!!!

[These pictures are from his first play with them]

If he is ever crabby (a little more common these days with some new teeth popping through) all I have to do is put him in front of this pop up toy and he lunges for it and plays happily.

I love sleeping babies!!!

Have I ever mentioned that I looooooooooooooooooooooove sleeping babies? Poor Eli is going to think he spent the first year of his life just sleeping (ha...as if!) but I just can't help but snap pictures when I see such sweetness.

Sleeping at the Tillamook Cheese Factory after his Uncle Brendan & Auntie Alyssa's wedding.

For a few weeks he really got into sleeping on his tummy.
I think he was having a Superman dream here. :-)

Daddy will stop anything he is doing if it means he can hold a sleeping baby.
The biggest guy around turns into melted butter instantly!

Oktoberfest 2008

Last September we joined Lee & Sara in Mt.Angel to celebrate Oktoberfest. It was quite an experience being there with babies for the first time! But we made the most out of being unable to go into the drinking tents by sitting down at a German restaurant and being the talk of the establishment as people "oooh"ed and "awww"ed at our babies (well, more over Lee & Sara's little Elaina who was like 2 weeks old at the time!).

But you know what? We all commented later that we thought the new "parent" version of Oktoberfest was almost better. At least this year we didn't get bumped and annoyed by drunk people!

Here are some photos...

Eli's first Oktoberfest

It is hard to tell, but Lee is not holding a white football...that would be Elaina! :)

Soft Ball

Last spring and summer Eric and Lee joined our friend James on his softball team here in Vancouver (yah for a Vancouver event at last!). Here are a few photos.

PS - They won the championships for both the spring and summer leagues. :-)

Good Blog from Salon...

I concur with these comments posted today from Camille Paglia:

Meanwhile, an area where too many in the mainstream media have been oddly AWOL is in the response to the attack on Mumbai, India, two weeks ago by a squad of Pakistan-based terrorists, who killed nearly 200 people. Reaction in the U.S. was somewhat muted because the protracted standoff occurred over the Thanksgiving holiday, when many Americans were traveling or absorbed in family business. But I was troubled by a persistent soft-pedaling of the identification of the attackers as Muslims --as if the mere reporting of that fact would be offensive and politically incorrect.

Because seven years have passed since 9/11 without another attack on native soil, many Americans, particularly urban professionals, seem to have been lulled into a false feeling of security. But jihadism as a world movement -- even if its membership is a tiny fraction of young Muslim men -- will continue to pose a serious threat to every open democratic society over the next century and more. Anyone who has studied ancient history knows that great civilizations, from Egypt and Persia to Rome and Byzantium, broke down in stages separated in some cases by many superficially tranquil decades. Because of the unprecedented fragility of our intertwined power grid and complex transportation system, the technological West is highly vulnerable to sabotage and chaos.

The tragic fate of so many innocent victims in Mumbai deserves our pity. But what should live in special infamy was the ruthless execution of the Lubavitcher rabbi, Gavriel Hertzberg, and his lovely wife, Rivka, who was 5 months pregnant. These were two idealistic young people of obvious warmth and humanity, who sought only to serve. The rescue by their Indian nanny of their orphaned 2-year-old son, Moshe, crying and smeared with his parents' blood, is already legendary. Was this zeroing in on the Chabad Jewish Center in Mumbai about Israel, or was it simply a gruesome eruption of the medieval tradition of anti-Semitism? Why have Muslim organizations, very quick to protest insulting cartoons, been mostly silent about the atrocities in Mumbai?

The slaughter of the Hertzbergs and other Jews at Chabad House should be a wake-up call to Western liberals who believe that jihadism can be defeated through reason and happy talk."

Eric

Trust Me

Pirated Article:

As gun sales shoot up around the country, President-elect Barack Obama said Sunday that gun-owning Americans do not need to rush out and stock up before he is sworn in next month.

"I believe in common-sense gun safety laws, and I believe in the second amendment," Obama said at a news conference. "Lawful gun owners have nothing to fear. I said that throughout the campaign. I haven't indicated anything different during the transition. I think people can take me at my word."

But National Rifle Association spokesman Andrew Arulanandam said it's not Obama's words — but his legislative track record — that has gun-buyers flocking to the stores.

"Prior to his campaign for president, his record as a state legislator and as a U.S. Senator shows he voted for the most stringent forms of gun control, the most Draconian legislation, gun bans, ammunition bans and even an increase in federal excise taxes up to 500 percent for every gun and firearm sold," Arulanandam said.

Obama answered "yes" in 1996 to a questionnaire from an Illinois group on whether he supported a handgun ban. But he later said a staffer filled out that answer and he did not support a ban.

Nationally, background checks for gun purchases jumped nearly 49 percent during the week Obama was elected, compared with the same time period last year, according to the FBI's National Instant Background Check System.

Anecdotally, gun dealers around the country have reported spikes in sales. The Illinois State Rifle Association Reports gun sales for November were 38 percent higher than last year.

"We don't dispute [the gun sales hike] because the numbers from the federal system certainly confirm that there is increased activity out there. We just think it's a bit stupid," said Peter Hamm, spokesman for the Brady Campaign against Gun Violence.

"Anyone who thinks they need to rush out and buy a firearm clearly has not been paying attention to how quickly we make progress on this issue. We don't think these are first-time buyers. We think they are people who already have more than enough guns at their homes to protect themselves and are buying more."

Let me see - gun sales are at a all time HIGH - but gun control second nuts are making progress? Not sure what that means.

In the mean time - I am lookign for one of these:

Get in line and take your...

I really try to patron locally owned and operated businesses as much as I can. But Shaunna and I (mostly myself) are total suckers for Starbacks. And the Christmas season is not started until we cut down our tree with red cups in hand...

It trully has to be one of the most successfully marketing campaigns in American. No wonder they are trying to roll out the red cups in August...

:) E

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas! to everyone. :) I hope you are cranking the Christmas carols and enjoying the season. The older I get (and Shaunna likes to remind me of that all time), the more convinced I want to be the kind of person who thoroughly enjoys Now and squeezes every ounce of richness out of the Present...

All while being intensely jealous of my sister in law vacationing through Europe...

:)

Merry Christmas!

Eric

New Fair Deal

Fellow Business Executives:
As the CEO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did. I strolled through our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them. If you have a better idea, let me know.
Sincerely,

Welcome to the United Socialist States of America!

According to this article linked from Drudge : our "friends" in Washington have spent $2 TRILLION dollars as part of the bail out of the banking and credit industry. And according to them, it is in your best interest for them not to let you want or where they spent that money.

I know that for many of us, math was not our favorite subject in school, so lets break it down: $2 TRILLION is $6666.66 per person for every man, woman, child, and baby in the country when we hit the 300 millionth baby last summer. That means beyond the the already outrageous sums they take from our paychecks and various other sundry taxes - today they took another $18.26 out your pocket - and the pocket of every person in the country - including the beggar on the street corner - to "buy toxic debt clogging our nation's credit system". And they will need to dip into your pocket for that $20 every day this month. From you and your brothers and sisters and parents and every single person you see today (if you are in the country).

BUT THEY WILL NOT TELL YOU WHERE THEY SPENT IT!

But if you voted for McCain or Obama - it is okay. This is crucial time in American history and unlike the previous 200 years of American experience, and 6000 years of human history - we should just trust the government is making the best decision for us and our friends and families.

Not me. I have decided to listen to our president elect and cling to my religion and guns...

Where is the outrage?

We're back....did you think we disappeared?

Finally - here are pictures of the addition. It is still empty because we pretty much left town for a few weeks once it was done and have been bonkers since we got back...click the pictures for descriptions of what you are looking at.

New Family Room
(flooring is cork tiles in a brick pattern)

Family Room colors:
Gold walls, moss green ceiling

Sorry it took so long to get these pictures posted. I kept hoping to take pictures when we get furniture moved into it - but obviously that hasn't happened yet. :) In the mean time, at least you'll get an idea of what we have been so busy working on. I didn't post a picture of the new Laundry Room because it is still in shambles. I'll post a picture someday when we actually get all the construction junk out of it.

* * * AT LONG LAST ----- IT'S DONE! * * *

Where in the world have the Jenks been, you might ask yourself? In construction mode.

It is 12:30 in the morning and we just hammered in the last piece (!!!) of trim in our addition. We have our final inspection tomorrow (well, I guess "today" is more accurate). We're so glad!

This has been a loooooooooooooong ordeal. Although we were supposed to be completed by August 1st, it is now September 18th. We decided to save some $$$ and do the finishing work ourselves. We thought it would be fun to pull out the old miter saw and get all dusty together. It was fun - for about 3 weeks. But these last 2 weeks have been grueling! We've been up until 1am - 2am night after night after night to the point where we are not thinking clearly or communicating with any sort of clarity. We've hit the end of our rope with buying trim, prepping trim, staining trim, sanding trim, polyurethaning trim, cutting trim, nailing trim, etc. TRIM IS MY ENEMY! I literally have dreams about trim at this point...I hate trim. Trim should die.

But - yahoo - we're all done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pictures to follow soon. I gotta go...I'm so excited to be in bed before 1am.

~Shaunna the Builder

Grant's Birthday

Last Friday was my brother Grant's 12th birthday. He was given a list of a few different birthday activities and decided on a day at a natural wildlife preservation (a "safari for the Northwest") near Tacoma. My parents, sister Kristine, brothers Grant and Ethan, Eli and I all went. It was awesome!

I'm sort of a sucker for the zoo. But this was way cool because the animals were free-roaming and in their natural habitat! Here are some pics:

The birthday boy...Grant Alexander is 12!
(that just totally freaks me out!)

Holy Bison!
We were able to see a whole herd of them - including a few babies.
They are ENORMOUS creatures!

White bottom Caribou (I think).
"There's Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen.
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen...but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?"
If you answer "Prancer" from the old 90's retarded movie I'll laugh my butt off!

Show off!!!

Rams.
Ok, I know these are all supposedly animals from the Northwest, but have you ever run across a ram while hiking up Multnoma Falls? Yeah, me either.
Liars.

Eli hanging (literally) with Grandpa on the "safari"

There was no food allowed on the safari...but Eli broke the rules.
What kind of mother am I after all? Sheesh!

Grandpa and Grandma

My bigger little sister, Kristine.
Kristine referred to me as her hero that day multiple times. Of course, you're thinking I saved her from a deadly stampede of wild bison, or the stab and flinging of a crazy ram. But in reality, I actually got the cougar's attention. See, when we were going by the cougars they, like all cats, were snoozing and refused to look up or move. Since violent, ravenous and deadly cats are Kristine's particular preference she was quite disappointed that she didn't get a good look at them.
How did I save the day?
Well, I waited until no one was looking and then let out multiple mimics of my own cat's meow...only, really loud...like when my cat is trying to wake me up in the middle of the night to feed her (beast!). I kept meowing and meowing under at last...ah ha!...two cougars started prowling towards us (-we were safe btw-) trying to figure out what the heck that meow was coming from.
Entrance into the zoo: $20
Safari ride: $15
Being stared-down by a curious cougar: Priceless

Auntie Kristine and Eli
(I thought this picture was particularly endearing)

I'M 6 MONTHS OLD TODAY!

HURRAY!!!

(well, technically he was 6 months old yesterday, but it's only 1/2 past midnight and I'm still awake so it feels like "today")...

"Dougbert"

Here are the latest pics of our little "Dougbert" (my nickname for him...his middle names are Douglas Albert)...

-- His toothless Virgin Mary look---

--- His first day on the river ---

--- Daddy taught him how to play the "air guitar" ---
(daddy is an expert...heh heh)

--- Mommy's little pumpkin ---
aka "Moochie Poochie"

Update on the House Addition

I've had many requests for pictures of the house addition. I'm sorry I haven't been very good at posting about our progress, but it is really hard to capture on camera. People keep saying, "it looks so small on your pictures"...where in reality it is quite large (relatively speaking of course). So I'm afraid my pictures don't really work to give an accurate dimension to our work in progress...but here it is nonetheless.

Last week was insulation and siding week. This week the builder is working on re-roofing the existing house and finishing roofing the addition. We are also beginning sheetrock this week. That'll be exciting!

My Anti-Stink-Doggy-Room:

One of the things I designed for the addition is living quarters for Greta our dog. She will have her own built-in kennel just outside the Family Room. The thing I'm most excited about is that I designed it to take an exhaust fan - like one you would put in your bathroom. Now her retched, gag-you-up-a-river dog smells (and believe me, they are great dane sized) will get sucked up and out of the house! It'll probably scare her to death the first few times it turns on (it's on a motion sensor), but either way I guess the dog smells will stop! :) ***I'm awful!***

Here's Eric installing the GLORIOUS dog-reek eliminator.

Our backyard is a horrible eye-sore!

Hey look! We have another bathroom already!
-uh, I don't think I'll ever be THAT desperate!-